


We Are Both (Mostly) Free

by chevre_mere



Category: Homestuck
Genre: Anyways, Depression, Familial Love, Gen, Mental Illness, but enjoy!, but he totally ditched me this week, but it's like whatever i guess, like wow thanks asshole i needed that, my second work... hheck...., the ending is kinda shitty because i rushed to finish and have something to post, this was originally made for my ex-best friend
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-04-10
Updated: 2017-04-10
Packaged: 2018-10-17 02:56:30
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,604
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10584972
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/chevre_mere/pseuds/chevre_mere
Summary: “Depression,” Rose coos, echoing her thoughts, “you’re depressed, Dirk.”“Depressed?” Dirk looks at her.The seer’s eyebrows furrow, and she asks, “do you… not know what depression is?”Dirk seems lost. Rose can’t believe it.





	

Rose slips in through the front door at ease, silence paced footsteps against the carpet. Her feet dance an elegant ballet, breezing silently through the obstacles of Dirk’s home like wind through trees. She arrived with the intent of checking up on the prince; he has somewhat of a habit of locking himself up in his workshop for days on end. A rather nasty habit, in Rose’s opinion.

The seer peeks down the hall - all sounds silent, aside from a low, albeit miserable moaning sound. Is Dirk having trouble with one of his projects? Rose presses forward to find out.

The door to the workshop is ajar, letting in the pollen and spring air, as well as the cold breeze. Rose shifts in, with the intent of not making herself known lest she need to.

When she enters, though, she instantly pauses.

Dirk is huddled up at his desk. His head is in his arms, similar to how a school student would rest their head on the desk in a class. His shades left visibly right next to him on the wood worktable. his shoulders are bobbing very very gently, and the low moan Rose heard before appears to be coming from him.

Dirk is crying.

Rose takes a moment to consider her actions - Dirk never cries; not that she knows of. He has issues, a lot of them, but he's usually well put together, like many of his metallic creations. Something must be very wrong.

Containing her worry, the seer steps forward and clears her throat very softly.

“Father,” she begins, “are you… alright?”

Dirk shoots up in shock to see Rose standing behind him; her black gown flowy and silk, reaching down her form similar to a flowered vine. The pink bow tied around its waist fluttered and stood out in the particular lighting. He takes merely a second to register Rose’s presence; before throwing an arm over his line of sight.

“I'm fine, Rose,” he lies.

Rose frowns, disbelieving of his statement. She presses forward, a dance now accompanied by the song of the steps against the cold concrete. She gently takes Dirk’s shoulder, feeling the prince tense up but soon relaxing under her touch.

“Do you want to tell me about it?” Rose asks gently, and Dirk shudders.

“I don't want to worry you,” Dirk responds.

“Father, the fact that you are locked in your workshop crying is troublesome enough. To tell me would be much less worrying for me, in fact.” Rose explains to him.

After a silent pause, Dirk lifts his arm from over his face.

“...Okay.”

Rose looks at him, his half-lidded eyes showing off the dark circles he sports. Dirk isn’t getting enough sleep, either, she notices - a huge thing mood tends to be circulatory around. She makes a mental note to dot that into their conversation sometime this late afternoon.

“I just,” Dirk begins. He pauses in his speech, fidgeting with the stray white thread of his shirt like a cat pawing a cheap rope toy, “I’ve been so tired lately, Rose. I don’t know what’s wrong with me. My energy has been so low; I have to force myself to do things, and even then, they aren’t good enough. I’m never fucking good enough for anyone, I-”

Dirk shuts up the moment his voice threatens to shatter, instead opting to hide his face away in his hands, calloused and dusty, Rose notices. The poor boy should really use gloves.

Nevertheless, Rose sympathizes - her gaze growing clouded, mind entering a murky fog, as if traveling through a timewarped forest. Rose remembers those years she spent with Mom, the countless times spent holding those blonde locks as the sound of regurgitation echoed through the toilet. Yelling and lashing, pushing her guardian away, keeping to herself when all Mom ever wanted to do was be her friend. Those dark, angry times of hating the world around her, for nothing. 

It was all horrible, nothing Rose could ever possibly wish upon anyone, even her worst enemies.

“Depression,” Rose coos, echoing her thoughts, “you’re depressed, Dirk.”

“Depressed?” Dirk looks at her.

The seer’s eyebrows furrow, and she asks, “do you… not know what depression is?”

Dirk seems lost. Rose can’t believe it.

“Depression - depression is a mental illness,” she stutters, “depression is feelings of severe despondency and dejection. It’s… a mental disorder.”

Dirk nods, seemingly understanding of the predicament, “how do I get rid of it?”

Rose looks over out the window, “I can’t say for sure.”

Dirk’s aura suddenly grows tense, and he grabs Rose’s arm, shaking her.

“No, please, you - you have to help me. I don’t - I can’t, I hate feeling like this. Rose, please,” he begs, and Rose feels tears spring to her eyes.

“I-I can’t, Dirk,” she addresses him by his real name, something she doesn’t do very often, “I don’t know how.”

She hears Dirk begin to hyperventilate and feels him begin to shake. Rose takes only a moment to process the situation before she acts, taking Dirk shaky figure into a tight embrace, stroking his hair. The prince seems to relax just as quickly as he got worked up.

“Depression is not something that can be cured instantly,” Rose breathes out, “but we can work towards it, together.”

There’s brief silence from Dirk, the room quiet aside from the whirring of some of Dirk’s inventions echoing and bouncing around the room.

“Please,” his voice in response is just as breathy, but more afraid-sounding, “I don’t want to feel like this. Not anymore.”

“I know,” Rose sympathizes, “it’s horrible.”

“This is the worst feeling in the world,” Dirk slumps back against his worktable, “it seriously is.”

Rose looks up him with a pitiful, sympathetic look. She lifts him up into her arms, punching a surprised noise from the heart player. The seer carries him in through the back door- a sliding glass one, it hadn’t been cleaned in months. Rose carries him down the hall of the cream-coloured walls, taking Dirk into his bedroom. It’s a mess, like the rest of the home. she makes a mental note to stop by with some cleaning supplies later in the week to clean his house up.

She opts not to say anything as to not upset him any more. Dirk is placed down on the queen-sized bed by the light player, and covered up by the large light blue comforter. Rose sits down on the edge of the bed.

“You should rest,” she puts a hand on his forehead, as if checking to see whether Dirk had a fever or something.

“I feel tired,” he looks at her through those orange eyes, and she nods in understanding.

“It’s going to be alright.”

“You know, I hope so.”

Rose sighs just loud enough for the glassy silence to shatter, and looks at Dirk through sad eyes. He doesn’t return her gaze, instead staring up at the ceiling.

“Goodnight, Dirk.” The seer says, shutting the door as quietly as she can.

The setting sun through the window is long gone, leaving only the moon and the stars. Dirk drifts fairly quickly, off into a dreamworld of purple and pink clouds, into a different world. Happiness comes when everything numbs. The prince sinks into the clouds and stares at the shooting stars above. Everything is calm and peaceful, he feels happy, free from burden and worry.

Something feels… off, though. Dirk looks around, only to realize the clouds are swallowing him up. He’s falling through the clouds, sinking further and further and there’s nothing to scrabble and grab for purchase, until he falls through the falsely secure clouds and in through the sky. Tears are slipping from his eyes and flying upwards. He’s about to hit the ground when-

“Dirk! Dirk, wake up.”

Dirk flies into a sitting position, looking around to see that he’s safe in his own home. Rose is staring at him through worried brown eyes.

“Rose- what time is it?” He asks instantly, “what are you doing here?”

“It’s 11:35 at night,” Rose answers, clearing her throat and straightening her back out, “I was… cleaning your house.”

Dirk rubs his eye, raising an eyebrow.

“At 11:35 at night.”

“Well… yeah.”

Dirk actually chuckles and then flops onto his back. Rose gives a stressed, but albeit relieved sigh. The prince thinks for a moment; Rose is wasting her night to clean Dirk’s house that he hasn’t been motivated to clean for weeks because of his depression. She’s standing here asking if he’s okay over a nightmare.

Someone caring about him felt so… surreal, so wonderful. And for once, he doesn’t feel totally alone.

“You know something Rose?”

“Yes?” Rose puts down the picture frame she was inspecting on his dresser.

“Maybe things are gonna be alright after all.”

Rose gives a tired, confident smile, “yes, that’s the spirit.”

She yawns, and rubs her eyes. Dirk gets up from his bed and digs for a spare blanket, retrieving a soft, thin lavender one. He steals a pillow from his bed and hands them to Rose.

“You can crash on the couch.”

“Isn’t it complimentary to let the guest sleep in your bed?” Rose teases him, and he rubs the back of his head.

“Right….”

“I’m just kidding. Thank you very much for your hospitality,” Rose says softly, turning tail to the room, “goodnight.”

“Night,” Dirk says.

When the door shuts, the heart player flops back down onto his bed and stares at the ceiling. He almost smiles while thinking of Rose’s friendly gestures.

Yes, perhaps things will be okay in the end, after all.

**Author's Note:**

> hheck.... this was a really personal & self-indulgent little thing i made... i hope u enjoy
> 
> (ask for my twitter/tumblr for more content! <3)


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